I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
