i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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