in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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