I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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