i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
