I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
