the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
