Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I think a kid would responsible me up
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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