Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
