I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
We named our party play list daddy issues
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize
