So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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