When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
