that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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