Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
it's like iHOP with fire
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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