I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
