tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Randomize
