What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize