i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
In America we eat man semen.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
