i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
