sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
