idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
