i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I just found puke in my bra..
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
