Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
