He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
