But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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