i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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