I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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