I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
