Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
