Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She's the barista slut.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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