She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
