This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
