If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
