if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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