hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
