I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I think my vagina is haunted
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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