Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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