I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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