do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
