woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i dont even know how to be here
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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