Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
