He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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