is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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