paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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