I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
