Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
