youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
