No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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