On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
