So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
