did you get engaged???
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
