Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
