Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize