Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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