i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
