hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
