Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
