oh god the rape fog is back!
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
