Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
