Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My vagina is very pro this idea
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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