we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize