He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
My vagina just recognized that song.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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