:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
