cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
