i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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