I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
This is not my ceiling
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize