yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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