So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
