finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just pee around me
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
