i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
