hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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