oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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