id be glad to
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Randomize
