escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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