I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
